Meen Sam.

#27 with Jason Mraz's I Won't Give Up

2012-02-12T20:59:00.001+08:00

Hangat. Selesa macam petang petang untuk lepak depan peti televisyen, hirup teh panas dan gigitkan pisang goreng. Bila hujan matahari banjirkan ruang tamu, mata jadi sepet layup. Tutup televisyen, tarik kerusi, dan ditontonnya pula filem realiti matahari terbenam. Sekilas pandangan, gambaran sinopsis ringkas hari itu banjirkan kepala otak. Sebab bagi aku bukan yang tengah malam itu tamatnya hari hari aku, tapi yang siang petang, bila mega merah calarkan retina mata.

Aku penat jadi si perengus yang tak mampu kawal amarah. Aku penat jadi peludah fitnah tuduhkan manusia tak bersalah. Aku penat jadi yang pertama menghentak meja, dan yang terakhir mengalir air mata. Aku penat bebelkan salah yang silap. Aku penat jadi yang utama dalam perang kata. Dan aku penat lepaskan apa yang patut aku syukurkan akibat aku terlampau suka ronyokkan hati makhluk tuhan yang tidak layak aku persoalkan hati budinya.

Bila gelap, dan yang bulat merah itu hilang, masa itu juga aku mahu jadi serba serbi baru. Aku mahu buang segala negatif pada diri. Rebutkan semula peluang jadi yang 'Diingati' itu. Mungkin?

#26

2012-02-08T22:17:00.000+08:00

Aku rasa rasa spirit untuk aku tulis dalam bahasa Melayu dah lari balik masuk dalam jasad. Oh ya, bukanlah aku diskriminasi bahasa sebelum ni ya. Tidak pernah. Cuma, dahulunya masa mula mula padam diari lama, aku sesat sebentar. Terus sahaja sesat sampai ke Eropah sana. Bila mahunya balik Tanah Melayu, lidah aku tangan aku sudah terjajah dengan bahasa orang putih. Alah, tak hina mana kalaupun bahasa orang putih itu jadi tuturan. Cuma, aku lebih sukakan bahasa tanah tumpah darah aku lebih. Inspirasi lagi berganda. Maksudnya lagi mencucuk. Lenggoknya lagi lapangkan dada.

Tapi kalau kiranya aku sekali sekala tuturkan bahasa orang putih, jangan kamu cerca aku pula. Kisahnya, aku cuma suka suka nak lagakkan saja. Tak mampu fasihkan lidah dengan bahasa tamil atau cina, cukup dua bahasa untuk aku tajamkan matanya. Biar bunyinya berbisa.

#25 with Cameron Mitchell's All My Love

2012-02-05T00:27:00.004+08:00

Lima hari lepas, aku jejak kaki balik Rembau. Serius, aku rindu bau alma mater tu. Sampai saja, terus terusan, rembat telefon, tekan punat, beritahu semua, "Eh, aku dah sampai Rembau." dan ya, senyum sampai ke telinga, Tuhan saja tahu betapa aku gigil. Sumpah, aku rindu sekolah.

Tiga hari pun tak cukup sebenarnya. Tapi paling haru bila cikgu semua suka, duk hulur tangan nak sambut anak murid dia. Paling haru lagi bila semua junior kejar kejar nak peluk cium akak senior dia. Okey, haru habis. Mungkin dah biasa itu semua. Mungkin sebab aku ada kat sekolah masa ulang tahun Valedictorian, jadi apa aku rasa mungkin extra dari biasa.

Februari 2, 2012. Dah dua tahun. Bila mana, aku toleh pusing belakang semula, aku lihat dan baca semula cerita cerita itu. Dua tahun yang mana aku pun tidak sedar betapa cepat masa itu boleh terbang pergi pantas sekali. Dua tahun yang banyak ubahkan diri aku. Dua tahun yang kalau dibacanya kecil sahaja angka, tapi besar sekali impaknya.

#24 with Taylor Swift's Ours

2012-01-31T22:30:00.002+08:00

Friend napping and I'm the napper.

Guilty but that's cool as long as everything's fine.
I can go for hours staring at this picture, thinking of the past and the future.
Either smile or shed a tear.

#23 with Eels's All The Beautiful Things

2012-01-30T20:52:00.000+08:00

Baru berhenti kerja minggu lepas dan sekarang ini aku er ya, menganggur. Cis, peduli apa pun kalau aku menganggur. Cakap besar saja umpama kerja polis. Aku fikir boleh la kiranya aku habiskan masa main sana main sini sementara tunggu neraka atau syurga dua bulan lagi. Nyata, aku salah.

Jadi sekarang ni aku agak sibuk dengan macam macam kerja. Kiranya masa aku main dah jadi ciput macam tahi hidung saja. Angankan paradais, yang datangnya bala. Okey, aku tipu saja. Tak ada pun bala mana. Kerja sibuk sibuk ini yang boleh buat aku lupa semua. Dan seriusli aku suka ini.

Tapi tak adillah aku klasik sorang sini. Terpaksa hadapkan muka pandang gambar lama dan ya, titiskan air mata sambil telinga disumbat terapi melodi. Bodoh, betul betul kerja bodoh. Tapi aku suka juga. Kurang kurangnya aku tahu aku masih ada perasaan dalam sini. Dan aku hargai itu.

Dan semua yang aku mahukan, atas sana saja tahu. Aku sesat. Dan aku mahu jalan pulang tapi jalan gelap gelita dan hanya Dia saja tahu manakan Dia bawa aku. Dia cuma bekalkan aku lampu lampu suluh sahaja. Tapi sekarang, lampu suluh banyak dah tak ada. Aku nak buat apa. Okey, ambil bantal kekabu tutup muka lemaskan diri, harapnya jumpa syurga terus. Kerja bodoh lagi. Aku tak pernah nak cuba bersyukur kan? Kamu tolonglah ubah aku.

Aku cuma rindu dan mahu benar putar tapakkan semula masa dulu. Salah ke?

#22 with The Script's For The First Time

2012-01-23T23:45:00.002+08:00

I had done everything to be 'that' perfect. I always found myself wanting for more, wanting myself to be different from others. And eventually, I gave up my life on it. I did. I took the risk and changed little by little until it became in total. But then, it failed me to feel so and the courage I had once turned to fear somehow.

Few years back, I woke up one fine morning and found myself struggling with never ending questions echoing in this pretty little shitty mind. I was confused. So, I opened up the internet and shared my confusion. Asked Mister Google, like everyone else would do. And there I was, finally revealed the disorder I had. It wasn't that bad, but it wasn't great either. Well, at least I knew what was killing me. So, I sat back straight and did some rational thinking. Was it seriously rational? Never sure enough.

People around me misjudged a lot. And eventually I would remain silent and smiled rather than answering them. Sometimes I just couldn't help but feeling guilty. Filthy, my tongue. It tasted like lying.

I even tried using the infamous hypothesis about being 'just you, yourself'. I tried but it didn't work. I guessed it didn't affect me. It's hard when you want to be yourself so badly but you just don't know who you are, yet.

The clock ticks on as the time flies real fast. Now I'm officially eighteen and I hope it's for the best. He extends my life so that I could carry on searching the real me.

:)

#21 with Requiem For A Dream's Lux Aeterna

2012-01-21T02:59:00.002+08:00

Inspire more.

#20 with Coldplay's The Scientist

2012-01-20T01:39:00.002+08:00

Aku mungkin payah untuk bangun, untuk gagahkan tulang temulang terus hadapi hari palat esok esok. Tapi mungkin juga tak semua hari yang aku palatkan itu terus sahaja berulang ulang. Ah, harapnya. Kadang kadang aku rasa aku paling lemah dan tak kuat bila berdiri celah teman teman lain. Aku rasa kecil. Cis, aku memang mampu sahaja pura purakan gelak tawa celaka, tapi yang tak mampu aku buangkan, dalam sini tetap rapuh.

Hari hari yang lepas jadi bahan simpanan kapsul masa, aku tak pernah dapat lawan. Kata orang, mungkin aku ini klasik orangnya. Haha. Bullshit.

Tapi sedap juga bila tahu kamu dapat tinggalkan sesuatu untuk orang lain. Sedap juga kalau kamu tahu kamu itu ada dalam secebis dari jiwa hidup orang lain. Dan bila aku pandang dalam dalam muka itu, ya aku nampak diri aku sendiri pada mata bundar itu. Manapun tak lagi sama dengan tragedi sebelumnya, sekurang kurangnya aku tahu, aku masih lagi tersepit sebahagian jadi hidup dia walau secubit sahaja dan itu cukup untuk buat hari esok sehari yang kurang palatnya.

#19

2012-01-07T01:26:00.001+08:00

Random.

Darn it. January demands a lot already. Holy crap, I can't stop daydreaming. I need money rightaway, I need these. Maybe a little saving could help. Iyiyiyi. Have to work even harder yaw. Accomplishing these before 2012 ends, ui perhaps.

Acoustic guitar.

Ukelele.

Canon EOS 550D with 580EX speedlite.

Diana F+ mini lomo.

Swatch winter season.

Macbook Air.

Well, obviously I need no new mobile phone psst iphone psst blackberry. No, no. This torchlight-super-hardcore-phone is enough for me. Okay, thank you.

Dear readers, I know you know that my birthday is like 16 days away :)

#18 with Swift's Last Kiss

2012-01-04T01:43:00.009+08:00

Moving on is never easy. You have to struggle for days, weeks or even, years. Fortunately I still have the strength to push myself in recovering. So, it only took me a few weeks to get over it. But it wasn't merely me actually. It was the angels that made me strong.

2011 was simply, divine. Lovable and unforgettable. Unexpected twists and turns kept coming to haunt me with thousand question marks lingering in my cerebrum. I just couldn't resist them as they all happened almost simultaneously and I just couldn't cope with them alone. So, yes. There were them, who kept coming to me, lending me their ears to listen and shoulders that I could cried on, giving the answers to all questions.

2011 has taught me valuable things. Importance of understanding, responsibilities, respects and of course friendships. Thanks god, his magics and miracles have accompanied me throughout the year. Although it was the hardest year I ever went through - SPM, fights, hurts, broken promises ; I have no doubt in saying that it is my favourite year, all of the seventeen years that lived. And it's all because of them. Yes, them.

Quoted from Amirul Faris's status in Facebook,

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."

The power of real friendship, it is. Though sometimes I could be annoyingly secretive, they just knew when I was in no-good condition. Eventually, they were the ones who would ask and made me smiled and laughed my ass out. Whenever I fell, they would lend their hands and pulled me to stay strong again.

Remember the nights I had in AZ10, the laughs we had, the tears we shared, they are the invincible moments that I ain't forgetting. Inka, the nicest person I have ever known in my whole life. That one night, just one night that changed everything and I'm so glad to share it with her. She said things that people never said to me before and it was breathtakingly surprising. Who would have thought the person that used to be in my dislikes list before, turned out to be one of my favourites now? Well, that is so karma. Then, there goes Bedah, the most annoying sister in the triplets yet I still love her. I love the way she listened and advised. I love when she called me hamster and never stopped telling me how cute I am. I love when I cried and she would ask. I love when she stroked my hair, I just felt safe around her, yes I did as if I knew I wouldn't fall as long as I have her by my side. Oh my, I miss my farting machine already.

Though I spent the least in Al Razi, that doesn't mean I never appreciate my rocking classmates. I remember the preps when we had roti kering for supper and when the boys sang a long to Adele's Someone Like You from Ilman's phone. Ouch. Or when Fazrul made up stories and stupid jokes that eventually would make me laughed till the tears filled my eyes. Or when Affan explained to me about rezeki from Allah which I nearly cried and hugged him for being too nice. I will absolutely remember that. Oh and it goes the same to the rest of Valedictorians. Well, I never cried over a relationship this hard before. But with you, Valedictorians, it was completely different. Guess it was hard to let you go huh?

Ah, it was everything that I could call home. A place that made me feel safer along with my Elvises and Madonnas. 2011 will be forever tattooed in my soul, here.

Dear readers, meet my guardian angels.

Inka Anastasia Abd Razak. Othman Affan Zuhir. Amni Amirah Ami. Nurul Shamira Rashikin.
Mohd Fazrul Halim. Amirul Haziq Azhari. Noorakmalia Kushairi. Nashrah Ayna Shah Fiesal.
Hanis Balqis Azhari. Siti Zubaidah Choo Rahmat Choo.

Darling Valedictorians and Semesra Clique.

2011 ended.
Thank you for being awesome.

#17 with Meen Sam's This Is Everything

2011-12-31T00:27:00.000+08:00

2011, tahun yang aku tak akan pernah jumpa lagi. Begitu juga kamu.

Monokrom. Itu sahaja aku mampu konklusikan tahun arnab ini. Hampir semua porak peranda.

Bulan pertama sehingga ketiga baik baik sahaja aku kira. Walau dasarnya tidaklah manis mana. Aku terpaksa susahkan teman teman untuk terus berjaga malam semata untuk sumbatkan ubat dalam mulut. Bongkokkan pinggang malam hari semata mahu dapatkan air suam untuk aku. Hari lahir aku tidaklah spesial seperti kamu yang pantas punya iPad. Tapi besar nilainya, aku tahu betapa besarnya cinta dan sayang teman teman pada aku. Noorakmalia, Nur Anisah, Noor Hasnani dan berapa nama lagi. Aku kira mereka tidak lekang sama sekali jauh dari aku waktu aku jatuh sakit dulu. Dan kerana sokongan itu lah aku mampu jadi kuat dan sembuh hadapi dunia semula.

Bulan empat aku mula rapuh lemah. Bila mana aku hilang tiang kukuh tempat aku berpegang, hilang atap tempat aku berteduh. Sudah sakit, aku tambahkan pahitnya lagi. Aku taburkan garam atas luka yang dah berulat. Sakit, ya sakit. Empat bulan seterusnya aku hidup seperti mayat hidup. Ada jasad tiada punya jiwa. Kosong, lohong. Aku hipokritkan diri membenci walhal pada dalam sini, aku tahu aku tak mampu. Empat bulan yang selamanya gelap pada aku. Tapi Nashrah Ayna sentiasa menjadi yang utama, pendengar setia yang tidak pernah jawabkan tidak pada semua soalan.

Bulan lapan dan aku jangka itu lah satu tahap aku mula sedar. Aku mula jumpa tapak yang tuhan tinggalkan untuk aku jejaki. Aku carikan juga kerlipan mana yang tuhan campakkan. Aku tadah tangan, minta pada tuhan, hilangkan segala miseri, hilangkan segala sempit dan sesak. Moga moga Dia lapangkan dada, beri aku masa. Dan, terima kasih tuhan, aku berjaya jumpakan guardian angels yang pimpin aku, bawa aku jumpa tempat aku yang sebenar. Tuhan hadiahkan aku Inka Anastasia dan Zubaidah Choo. Ah, hadiah yang tidak mampu aku sujud syukurkan. Dan aku tahu ini ikatan yang akan kekal sampai mati nanti. Aku cuma tahu dan aku tidak boleh terangkan pada kamu mengapa aku percaya itu.

Dan hanya dua puluh empat jam jauhnya dari sesuatu yang haruman serba baru. Aku tidak punya wang sama ada dalam ringgit mahupun pound sterling. Ya wajar jika aku katakan 2011 adalah tahun ekonomi merudum, dan poket aku tidak pernah berbau megah dengan kertas warna warni yang menyenangkan. 2011 adalah tahun termiskin yang pernah aku alami tapi tetap yang paling kaya. Tetap yang paling mempesona. Ya, aku jatuh cinta pada 2011 dan aku sentiasa mahu berpegang padanya.

Apa kata aku pun, masa tetap berjalan dan hidup mesti diteruskan. Jadi, aku terima sahaja apa bakal aku pijakkan untuk tahun akan datang, untuk hari hari yang bakal aku mimpikan. Kalau benar 2012 adalah kiamat dunia, aku cuma mahu kamu tahu, aku sayangkan kamu sampai mati. Ya, kamu.

#16

2011-12-20T00:27:00.000+08:00

Nama aku Yasmeen Fazeera binti Shamsuddin. Anti Tingkatan Tiga Sekolah Menengah Sains Rembau. Anti gila sampai mati. Seantero hutan malapetaka gelar aku Pissed Off kerana itu. Sebab, ah tidak usah tanya. Ceh, nama mahu saja glamor glamor. Nama tak glamor aku bunyinya Siti Pissed Off. Ajaib dunia saja mampu usik prinsip itu. Prinsip anti itu.

Jadi, kalau tidak salah, kiranya keajaiban si mirakel benar benar sudah ubah aku.

Dulu orang tidak sudah sorak nama aku. Kononnya coretan aku itu, seribu satu masalah terpendam dalam jiwa yang akhirnya tersuara juga. Wakil wakil dewa dewi dari entah mana pelosoknya. Beri jerit satu orde kosmos penuh makian cacian. Dahulunya, aku fikir aku cukup kool buat kerja kerja haram menyakitkan hati manusia. Dahulunya, aku fikir aku cukup hebat mampu buat ketap suara manusia. Akhirnya aku sedar, sebaik mana aku pun, tidak cukup baik kalau aku asyik cuba jatuhkan orang lain. Sebaik mana niat pun aku pernah punya, jadi busuk niatnya kalau lontarannya cara paling hodoh binatang.

Syukur aku sedar. Mirakel buat aku sedar si tuan punya badan ini tidak juga sempurna mana. Apatah lagi nak membanding bandingkan si manusia yang satu ini dengan berjuta ribu lagi yang di luar sana. Akhirnya, aku akur juga. Malas sepah cerita, malas buat kotor mulut tangan, malas cari kamus caci maki karya hati hancing si tolol. Ah, sudah. Masa dah berubah, otak kena ubah. Biar fikir matang. Cukup label orang, cukup sialan sama orang. Angkat tangan, tadah, aku mohon maaf juga.

Konklusi paling padat teraksi, aku sayang form three. Eceh, pantun dua kerat saja mampu aku bogelkan.

Selamat berjaya bros and sisters.

#15 with We The Kings's and Demi Lovato's We'll Be Dream

2011-12-17T00:21:00.005+08:00

Sometimes you promise

someone forever but
it doesn't work out that way.

Hell yeah. But.

I hope this will remain.

#14 with Swift's Enchanted

2011-12-15T00:14:00.004+08:00

I ADORE YOU

There is this guy who changes everything.

There is this guy who shows that love is definitely believable.

There is this guy who proves that perfect prince charming does exist.

There is this guy who makes the world seems to have autumn throughout the year.

But there is this guy who never cares because he never knows.

Never knows that he is everything that makes someone goes crazier.

Yes, crazier.

And she's not confessing cause she knows he's in love with another someone.

That is, however, tragically true.

Again, she's losing it.

#13

2011-12-13T00:15:00.000+08:00

Rasa mahu berhenti sekejap. Otak dah tak boleh kata apa dah.

Bakal kembali dalam masa dua bulan setengah lagi dengan gaya baru.

Err mungkin. Kalau aku hidup lagi.

Dua bulan setengah lagi, okey?

Tahun baru, rancangan pun kena baru juga.

#12 with Adele's Someone Like You

2011-12-08T00:34:00.000+08:00

Tak ada siapa suka duduk asrama. Kalau pun ada, masa nak habis cuti tu lah bagai nak mati kau melutut sujud mohon sama Tuhan jadikan kau budak sekolah harian. Jadinya, kau takkan terlepas tengok video video baru Mat Luthfi atau Anwar Hadi. Atau kalau kalau kau adalah seorang Belieber yang gila kipas susah mati lah kan, kau tak nak pernah terlepas hantar mesej berbaur syok sendiri dekat laman sesawang beliau. Tak payah Justin Bieber lah, Farid Kamil pun jadi.

Aku tahu sebab aku macam tu. Err kecuali bahagian Belieber dan Farid Kamil. Tak tak, serius tak.

Babun. Aku gila rindu betul kat asrama sekarang. Gila betul dah habis. Macam tu je. Macam maggi cawan bila semua orang tengah lapar, lesap macam tu je. Macam tu je. Okey, repitisi. Aku tak tahu kenapa. Seriusli, tak faham kenapa. Orang lain habis sekolah muka macam badak berendam je. Bahagia, terapung. Tapi, tak sama kat sini, sini. Ya, aku sini. Ikut kata dalam sini, aku rasa susah nak telan semua. Maksud aku, ini dia, sekarang. Kosong. Macam air osmosis berbalik. Kosong dan tak sedap. Langsung tak.

Sekolah Menengah Sains Rembau. Apasal? Nama kelakar? Kisah apa nama sekolah aku tak hebat. Kisah apa sekolah aku kat kampung. Kisah apa sekolah aku dalam hutan. Kisah apa sekolah aku bukan dekat Bukit Bintang. Kisah apa sekolah aku tak ada wifi. Kisah apa sekolah aku tak ada Farid Kamil nak berlakon.

Haih.

Betul kata Amirah Nasir, memang mulanya akan benci sangat tapi nanti jadi sakit sangat nak tinggal pergi. Kita gaduh, kita caci, kita maki, kita tumbuk, kita belasah, tapi akhirnya nanti kita sedar juga kita berdiri sama bergolek sama. Lepas tu kita beri masing masing peluk cium paling senang sebab kita tahu kita tak mampu bangun seorang. Sebab kita rasa lebih selamat adanya abang abang kakak kakak mahupun adik adik yang tak henti buat benteng untuk protek kita.

Aku tahu, kalau satu hari Februari dulu tu tak wujud, aku tak akan tahu. Aku tak akan pernah tahu kualiti hidup. Aku tak akan tahu apa maksudnya adik beradik atas nama persahabatan. Dan aku bercakap bukan sekadar untuk lima enam orang. Tapi untuk seratus sembilan puluh enam orang. Okey, mungkin dua ratus. Ah itu dia ikatan paling kukuh paling jujur, aku tahu.

Ah sudah berapa hari? Dan tak henti henti si lidah gigi mengetap ngetap merengek mahu pulang semula ke jalan yang lama. Tempat lama. Jadinya, tak payah aku derita malam ni, aku boleh bergelak ketawa sama kakak abang, ceritakan tentang benda yang sama setiap hari. Tawakan benda yang sama, ya, setiap hari setiap malam. Cantik gambarnya.

Ya, ikatan yang orang lain tak akan faham mengapa dan bagaimana. Ikatan yang orang akan pandang remeh, ayat 'ah, budak sekolah apa tahu' dah jadi pelali paling mujarab rasanya. Tak sama sembilan tahun yang sebelumnya, 10/11 nyata paling molek dalam diari.

Aku putar lagu Adele berapa juta kali semata mahu menangis terpindah memori. Ah, tahi.

#11

2011-12-07T07:16:00.001+08:00

Credits to Affan Zuhir and Fazrul Halim for this breathtakingly suspense ghost short film.

Haha. Habis lah junior lepas ni.
Baik baik, Idrus Nordin bunuh diri kat blok tingkatan empat. Kalau nampak apa apa diam je.

#10

2011-12-06T06:48:00.001+08:00

Valedictorian, batch of ten eleven.

A piece of everything.

This is the bond we made after two years.

These are the memories we created since February 2nd.

And I swear, Valedictorian is simply everything you could imagine as pure love - friendship.

That's what make leaving school really really difficult.

But now here we are, already separated.

And who knows when will we meet again?

#9

2011-12-04T10:58:00.003+08:00

Sekolah Menengah Sains Rembau, SEMESRA

The time has finally come. A new day is born and the yesterdays will remain in its classical way. The song of farewell starts to echo across the room and all I can do is looking at the photograph of the good old days and promise myself that I won't forget them. Promise to keep them always freshingly neat in the back of my mind.

I'll miss wearing school uniform, I'll miss walking to class in the mist every heavenful morning, I'll miss the lush green hills that surrounds the alma mater, I'll miss the scent of the classroom when the golden hue of the sun leaked through the open windows, I'll miss looking at the sky and count the airplanes that I see, I'll miss racing to the canteen every 10.50 am, I'll miss Pak Cik Osman's deliciously cheap nasi lemak and mee goreng basah.

I'll miss the gossips we had while filling our hungry stomachs, I'll miss the Tuesdays when the dining hall served chicken rice for lunch, I'll miss camwhoring when I supposed to be studying for SPM during the preparation class, I'll miss playing basketball and cheering whenever the ball went through the ring, I'll miss the jamming session in AZ10, I'll miss walking alone through the darkness when the night fell, I'll miss staying up late till 5 am and lost in the conversation merely about nothing, I'll miss every laughs and tears that shared. Ah, I'll miss the routine. Sure, I'll miss everything.

The list gonna went on like forever and never ends cause there are gazillion things that I'll never forget. The memories were too bittersweet but too beautiful. The day that I received the offer letter two years ago, probably, the best thing that ever happened to me.

I am proud to be apart of SEMESRA :)

#8

2011-11-07T12:53:00.001+08:00

Bismillahirahmanirahim, dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang.

Ya Allah, kurniakan aku kesihatan yang baik. Keyakinan yang teguh. Ketenangan yang menyenangkan. Agar aku mampu menjawab semua soalan di hari peperiksaan kelak dengan hati dan dada yang lapang. Jangan kau hilangkan segala apa yang telah kau berikan dalam mindaku nanti.

Amin.

#7

2011-11-06T13:40:00.001+08:00

Tell me something, give me hope for the night

We don't know how we feel

We're just praying we're doing this right

Though that's not the way it seems

I will miss the days we had.

Loving, leaving, it's too late for this now
Such esteem for each has gone

Has time driven our season away
Cause that's the way it seems
In the world that speech that is new
I'll be back again to stay

I wish I'll finish school as soon as possible so that I can be a legend real soon.

#6

2011-11-05T17:09:00.005+08:00

This post has been removed.

#5

2011-11-04T20:22:00.002+08:00

There were loads of things that I've been going through since I haven't been homed for nearly two tedious months. Darn it, that was awful, I didn't aware of the fact until now. That's pathetic. Apparently, I really really missed home and seriously I'm yearning for the comfy touch of my very own bed. Nothing could be any better than this sweet homely milieu.

Two months away from home might be real dull, somehow it would be unfair if I deny the riveting little things that kept me alive and survive.

Last night I had a wonderful farewell dinner. It was great and real epic cause the dinner went on like in the movies which in the end, the seniors gave a standing ovation and sing a long to the goodbye song with our hands waving up high. Cool eh? But I nearly cried, realizing the fact that I'll be leaving school in 26 days. Real soon. Yes, I can't wait to rip off the school uniform but I will surely miss every single thing that eventually became a part of my life. Ouch?

SPM in nine days, ladies. Gotta go, gotta rock.

#4

2011-10-01T00:03:00.001+08:00

If I was given a chance to describe my week at Rembau, I'll say this one is quite tough. I don't know why, but I went nuts and ridiculous these few days. Being cracked up so easily, spilled improper words for no appropriate reason, cried over smallest thing on earth like unable to solve logarithm or even pissed off about something that shouldn't be pissing me off - made me feel a lot like a loser.

Yet, thinking how lucky I am to get rid of Rembau during this weekend, I rather say thanks god, I'm save. Holiday mode :)

#3

2011-09-24T09:45:00.001+08:00

This is a post of merely about nothing. I'm bored and I need writing-therapy. So, heck it.

I am currently doing fine in school. Perfectly fine and I'm hoping for nothing better than this. Few days ago probably the best day of my life. Eheh, everyday seems to be 'my best day' recently. Jumping around in my Batman sweater, I would say that I'm lil'bit outta my mind these few days. It's great to feel so :)

Okay, full stop. I got loads of things to do. Ohmymy.

#2

2011-09-18T14:25:00.002+08:00

Time's up. Well, we had enough fun already, eight wasted months. Phew. Now, it's time to duck down and play with the mud! Get my armor cause I have a war to win!

Good luck batch 0711.
We were born to create history (eceh :p)

#1

2011-09-17T22:00:00.002+08:00

Disastrous. That's just enough to describe the third week of Syawal. It didn't turn up as what I expected but somehow still, it got exciting in some other cool ways too. What else could I wish for the last holiday before the next eight Fridays eh?

I've been neglecting my books, exercises, homework, as well as the preparation classes just to make a draft of the school magazine. One whole week. Thanks god there was Fazrul, lending his hand with the entire process. In fact, he was the schoolzine's guru! Oh and Affan too, thanks a lot bro! We pushed ourselves hard enough to finish them all, right on the deadline, like we had promise before. Where could you ever find a magazine made in five days eh? In here, Rembau, seriously.

Other than that was fine. Even though I don't have enough sleep, I did enjoy my nights. Aha, night-routine at AZ10 never be disappointing. There were always things to be laughed at or at least, gossiped about. And they never gets boring or lame. Well I hope it wouldn't be.

Only one and a half month left till the O-level exam and everyone is struggling. Now that I've finished all my blahblahblah works, at last, I can fully focus on my studies. Ahhh life's great when you have commitment, ain't it? Come on, it's time to flirt with books and notes!

p/s: am i falling?